Sadness

I am missing so much between but I have to tell you about my evening last night.  I have been so in love with this culture and the people, I didn't think anything could change that.  Last night however, I had a melt down. We decided to go into Thamel last night for food because we couldn't bare one more night of noodles or rice.  Don't get me wrong, the food they cook is wonderful it's just the same thing or a slight variation every night!!  Like I said, Thamel is the tourist part of town so there are many beggers.  Unfortunately, many of the beggers are children.  We have been told to not give the children money because many times they are enslaved by adults who force them to get money and bring it back to them.  The children are often disfigured by burning their faces or cutting them to make tourist more sympathetic to them.  The problem is, I can never turn the children away.  I ended up spending 1,500 rupees on a boy for powdered milk.  This is a lot considering most meals are around 300-400 rupees.  I wanted to talk to him after and make sure if was for him but he ran off and we couldn't follow him.  We saw him 5 minutes later doing the same thing to more tourist.  I can only hope at this point that he will be fed and some day escape this life.  A couple minutes later I saw a man beating a dog.  Now, there are dogs everywhere!  Many mangled, limping, infected, ect.  Many of you know how I feel about my dog and animals in general.  I lost it.  My Columbian friend who is much stronger (emotionally) than I am and the guy we were with went to save dog.  Long story short, we caused a ruckus on the street between the man and our friend.   We lead the dog away but the man continued to follow us.  Finally, we didn't see him.  At this point, we didn't know what to do.  I felt so helpless.  I couldn't take the dog home and I knew that eventually it would happen to him and if not him, another dog.  I know that this is part of their culture but I just can't agree with it.  I cried all night and couldn't sleep.  I have never had the feeling of closing my eyes and reliving a moment until this.  My first thought was that I wanted to go home.  I quickly felt so miserable thinking that I would go home to my privileged life where I had a loving family, a clean home, food and most of all, I was free.  Many children have never experienced this.  I don't want to go home where this tragedy is "out of sight, out of mind."  This will be my fight for the remainder of my time here...

On a lighter note, Natalia and I are meeting with the Public Health Foundation today.  We want to go to the source of the health problem here being the pollution. We want to see what initiatives are being taken about the trash on the streets and in the rivers.  Hopefully we can make a difference...wish us luck!

It has never been so clear to me to never taken your freedom or your family for granted.  Always hug them with purpose and tell them how much you love them!!